2004-08-21 - 11:18 p.m.

Rich has been spending too much time at the crazy right-wing sites again, and he alerted me to the presence of this particular gem: a children's book called "Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed: A Small Lesson in Conservatism"

I believe a rewrite is in order.

Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Conservatives Under My Bed: A Small Lesson in Conservatism Liberalism

The story of two boys who dream about opening a lemonade stand toxic waste dump when a strange thing happens...

Their dream gets stuck in Liberaland!

"Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Conservatives Under My Bed! A Small Lesson in Conservatism Liberalism" is a wonderful way to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism liberalism. In simple text, parents and children follow Tommy and Lou on their quest to earn money steal money from grandma's pension fund for a swing set their parents cannot can already afford. As their dream gets stuck in Liberaland, Tommy and Lou�s lemonade stand toxic waste dump is hit with many obstacles.

Liberals keep appearing from behind their lemon tree, festering toxic sludge taking half of their money in taxes compelling them to pay fines for polluting the water and air, forbidding them to hang a picture of Jesus atop their stand forcing them to respect religious freedom and tolerance, and making them give broccoli with each glass sold plant trees for each one cut down to make room for their toxic waste dump.

Law after law instituted by the press-hungry environmentally-friendly liberals finally results in the liberals taking over Tommy and Lou�s stand government regulating the sanitation industry and offering sour lemonade at astronomical prices to the customers clean air and water for a fraction of the coporate-inflated prices to the customers.

There, so much better!

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